by Cassie Moore, ACNM writer and editor
I love my job. It’s interesting, educational, fulfilling, and my boss is really
understanding when my toddler son gets sick—which he often does! But my commute
is a huge time sink. I had resigned myself to this fact, until a friend of
mine, who also has a young baby and a wonderful but demanding job, did
something a little out of the ordinary: she and her husband decided they’d rent
out their home for a year and move into a townhouse located right across the
street from her office. This change will enable my friend to see her baby more
often, to hire a nanny so there’s no drop off/pickup daycare hassle, to walk to
work and avoid all the commuting headaches, and to enjoy the shopping, restaurants,
and cultural attractions around her office.
This is an option I never would have thought of, and it wouldn’t work for everyone,
but it’s going to allow my friend to have the family and work life she wants
and needs. And it’s making me consider what I can do about my commuting
My mother is another person who made her circumstances work for her. She
couldn’t find a job she liked in the little Tennessee mountain town she lives
in with my stepdad, so she found a job she loved across the state border in
North Carolina, 90 miles away. Now she lives part-time in Tennessee and part-time
in North Carolina, and she’s very happy with the situation. It’s unconventional
but it works for her.
I think it’s really easy for anyone who works to feel trapped and get caught up
in thinking “I wish I had another job that was closer to my house/paid me more
money/gave me more time off/offered a more flexible schedule.” And sometimes
resigning from a job or changing jobs is the right answer. But sometimes, maybe
a little creative thinking is in order. Is it a drastic step to move your whole
household so it’s closer to your job? Some might say yes. But what if that step
keeps you from getting stressed out and eventually burnt out, or keeps you from
fighting with your spouse, or gives you more hours per day with your children? Aren’t
those worth the temporary hassle of moving and finding renters?
I admire my friend and my mom because they both made plans and took action to
address their problems—they didn’t just sit around wishing things were different.
And, in making the plans and taking the action, they acknowledged to themselves
and to their families that their happiness and time is important. They stood up
There’s been a recent discussion about schedules on our Clinical-Manage
eMidwife Discussion Group, where midwives are offering each other their real-world
solutions for scheduling on-call times, office hours, etc. Our eMidwife
Discussion Groups are a great way to share problems and find support and answers
from your fellow midwives—sign up if you haven’t already! See them here.
What can you do at your job or in your family life to get what you want? How have
you stood up for yourself?
Image: Working at home
daddy samwebster via
Flickr. Love his Homer Simpson mug!